Some doubted if it would ever happen but we got our first 3-0 week here at Bick’s Picks. Finally a dawg came through and I obviously couldn’t be happier it was Washington. It wasn’t the prettiest game but Howell made some big throws and on defense our rookies came through with big plays at key moments including a game sealing interception by Quan Martin. Sure part of me is sorry that it came at the expense of the Patriots but I also once sat through a 52-7 loss at Gillette so I think I earned this one. Nevertheless I’m getting sidetracked because this isn’t a Washington blog, it’s a blog about making picks so let’s get into it.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Saints @ Vikings (41)

Another week, another slate of low totals. This week I’m looking to this matchup of 5-4 teams to be one of the ones to hit. Neither defense is that spectacular and both offenses have been putting up points for their respective teams. For the Saints getting Kamara back provided Carr with a much needed security blanket and Tebow Hill has been getting done through the air, ground and sea. Meanwhile the arrival of Passtronaut in Minnesota has Vikings fans shaving their eyebrows. Maybe we sweat this one a little early on but don’t think we’ll need a Minnesota Miracle to cover.

Over 41

Fade Dawgs

Commanders(+6) @ Seahawks

Remember when I said this wasn’t a Washington blog? I lied. Sure Washington is due for a letdown after actually winning. And sure Seattle is due for a bounce back after getting shellacked in Baltimore but I don’t care. I’m ALL aboard the Howell train. Over the last five games he’s thrown for 1,510 yards which is the most in the NFL and he’s also thrown for 10 TDs during this time which is tied for most. I’m thinking Sam stays hot with a heavy dose of Brian Robinson mixed in. Also you guys know how I love streaks and Washington has won four in a row at Seattle and seven of eight all time during the regular season. So who knows maybe we do more than just cover.

Commanders(+6)

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Colts(-2) @ Patriots (Germany)

Now this does feel a little bit like kicking a man while they’re down but we’re not here to make friends we’re here to make money. I’ll be honest I tried to talk myself into the Patriots but just couldn’t do it. Sure I can see a Minshew Meltdown and Bill sticking it to the Colts one more time but in all honesty we’ve seen a lot of evidence this Patriots team isn’t capable of doing that. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m sure many of our readers will enjoy telling me that but my advice to Pats fans is fade your fan hood and enjoy the morning brats and beer.

Colts(-2)

Simply put this is a huge week for us here at Bick’s Picks. Is it because we went 3-0 last week? Is it because we love this weekend’s slate of games? Let’s not be ridiculous. It’s because of the big matchup in Foxboro this weekend. I will of course be in attendance and so will some of our readers. Sure it would be nice if both our teams had more to play for but sometimes a 1pm rock fight is just as fun as a primetime marquee matchup. Regardless of who comes out on top it’ll be a fun weekend so let’s see if we can win some money while we’re at it.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Cowboys @ Eagles (47)

This week there’s a lot of low totals but a lot of ugly matchups. We got like 7 or 8 backup QBs playing and it’s only week 9. Fortunately for both these teams their QBs are healthy and are coming off their best games. Hurts and Dak both threw for 4 TDs and seem to have their offenses cooking. Not only are both QBs playing their best ball but when these teams meet it’s often a shootout with the last 6 matchups hitting the over. I’m betting these teams will score and give us an easy over win.

Fade Dawgs

Commanders(+2.5) @ Patriots

Oh c’mon you had to know they’d be on here and did you think I’d pick something different? Fuck the Pats. That’s the blog. You got a problem with that find me at Gillette Stadium in lot 54A on Sunday.

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Dolphins @ Chiefs (-1.5) (Germany)

I’ve gotten really good at ending win streaks here at Bick’s Picks. From the Eagles suffering their first loss in franchise history to the Jets to Mahomes suffering his first career loss to the Broncos. So naturally I’m betting on another win streak continuing. Mahomes has won 8 straight games after a loss which is the longest streak in the league. Also the Chiefs have never lost an international game having won in both London and Mexico City so why not Frankfurt too. On the flip side, even though I have relied on the Fins for some wins here at Bick’s Picks that’s been always been against bad competition. In the two games they’ve played against teams with winning records they’ve lost both in convincing fashion so I’m betting that continues overseas.

0 for 3. Washington scored 7, the Lions reminded us they’re the Lions and Kirk is still wondering if I liked that. We’re at an all time low right now but the Bick’s Picks legacy is more than bricks and mortar. We’re about arbitrary biases and picking with our plums. After all, why do we fall Bruce? So that we can learn to chase our losses.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Eagles @ Commanders (43.5)

I know what you’re saying. Really again? Yes again. Washington is in shambles, trade talks flying and Ron Rivera is on the hottest seat in the NFL. Some men just want to watch the world burn and I’m one of them. I could very easily see Washington hosting a track meet for Philly which could finally send Ron packing. Eagles feasted on this secondary earlier in the season and I have no reason to think that won’t happen again. I certainly don’t expect another OT shootout but Washington does tend to play to their competition so their offense should score more than they did in the Jersey swamp. Eagles score early and often resulting in an easy over and hopefully the first head coach firing of 2023.

Fade Dawgs

Jaguars @ Steelers(+2)

Alright so the re-brand didn’t work but that’s okay I’m used to multiple re-brands so why not mix it up again. I have yet to pick a dog correctly so why not be honest and lean into it. They say you always fear what you don’t understand which is probably why I’ve probably avoided picking the 4-2 Steelers. The Steelers are adept at winning ugly one score games that leave you wondering hey I thought they lost that game in the 2nd quarter. They’ve also won 4 straight as underdogs so why not 5? The Jags are also playing their 4th game in 19 days and are due for a let down as they have one eye looking ahead to their bye week. You either die picking underdogs or live long enough to trust Kenny Pickett.

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Chiefs(-7) @ Broncos

The night is always darkest before the dawn but I promise you that dawn is coming. No way the lock is losing 3 in a row. Sometimes when you’re losing things have a tendency to get so serious and overthink things. I mean c’mon if Mahomes vs the Broncos doesn’t hit then I don’t know what to do. The Chiefs have 16 straight wins vs the Broncos which is the longest active streak vs one opponent. Also there’s potential snow in the forecast so I’m trusting self proclaimed “snow game guy” Mahomes to get it done. I will admit -7 is a little gross but you can move it to -6.5(-128) on DraftKings. I feel like I kept it simple and we got some wins coming our way. Who knows, maybe if we start pretending to have fun, we might even have a little by accident.

My goal was 3-0 last week and I failed you. Dogging It is dead and my lock took its first L. However, unlike Bradley Cooper my silver lining was that the Eagles took the L. But hey it’s a new week with a new slate of games so let’s make some money huh?

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Commanders @ Giants (37.5)

Lots of low totals this week, but rightfully so, I mean we got Brian Hoyer starting football games in 2023. Although I don’t expect a lot of scoring this Sunday, a couple games are bound to surprise us and I think this matchup is one of them. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some bias involved in this pick, but remember who’s picks you’re reading. Now, I wish I could tell you I was expecting Washington to come in and score 35 of the total needed and cruise to a victory for all of us, but let’s be real. The reason I like this game is because despite how many 1st round picks Washington has on defense they still can’t stop a nosebleed. I mean Daboll has been using a Daniel Jones smokescreen to intimidate us because Jones turns Vanilla Vick against us (5-1-1 vs Washington). That said I don’t expect him to actually play but Jake’s guy T-Mobile is more than capable of getting it done. On the flip side I do expect Slinging Sammy 2.0 to put up enough points to get this over easy and heck maybe even a win.

Piss Dawgs

Lions (+3) @ Ravens

It’s been rough season for dogs overall, but especially here at Bick’s Picks. Much like Mark “Stink” Schlereth, most of my dogs have been pissing their pants in the second half of games so I figured why not name the segment after him. And since we’re pissing our pants midas whale bite some knee caps. I’ve been resistant to buy in on the Lions, but this is the week I finally do. Lions look like a complete football team that wins games in the trenches while being capable of scoring points the points needed to put teams away. Meanwhile the Ravens run first offense has to contend with the best run defense so far in football. Lions win outright but take the points if you don’t have the courage.

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

49ers(-6.5) @ Vikings (MNF)

As mentioned earlier those ass shoving brotherly lovers choked against the Jets so the Lock is looking for a bounce back. So why not look to a team also looking to bounce back. Niners lost a tough one to the Browns having easily their worst offensive performance of the season. But that loss was a product of bad weather, a stout Cleveland D and some key injuries to Deebo and CMC. Fortunately it seems both playmakers avoided disaster and with extra rest will play on Monday night. This is bad news for a middling Vikings defense that lives and dies by the blitz. The Niners have also won 12 in row vs the NFC as the favorite and the Vikings have failed to cover as dogs in 8 straight vs. the NFC. But I’ve buried the lede and the obvious reason this is my lock is primetime Kirk. Very few wilt under the bright lights quite like my old QB and that’s not to mention he doesn’t have his all world security blanket Justin Jefferson. The Vikings squeaked out a win against the Bears last week but the offense looked anemic in the process. Even if the Niners sputter out the gate I don’t see how the Vikings consistently move the ball so a Brocktober bounce back seems like easy money. Also if you wanna get real spicy parlay the spread with a CMC any time TD he’s going for 16 games in a row.

If we’re being honest week 5 was full of losses we all want to forget. Washington embarrassed themselves for the billionth time in primetime, the Pats got shutout at home by the Saints and most devastating of all Bick’s Picks had its first losing week. Unlike our football teams I promise to be better this week. 3-0 Week 6 here we come.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Panthers @ Dolphins (47.5)

After a disappointing London Under we’re gonna look to the Fins to get us back on track. The winless Panthers have given up an average of 28.8 points a game and haven’t shown us anything on defense to give us reason to think they’ll slow down Miami’s offense, even with Achane out. On the flip side Miami’s defense is far from perfect. I mean they actually let the Giants score a TD for the first time last week. Not to mention Bryce Young has started to build a good connection with Adam Thielen making the Panthers look like a team capable of moving the ball. We get a track meet at Hard Rock easy Over hit.

Dogging It

Indianapolis(+4) @ Jacksonville

Time to address the elephant in the room. Dogging It is 0-2. Only segment without a win. At Bick’s Picks we’re not quitters but Dogging It is certainly on notice and we might have to rebrand. But before drastic steps have to be taken let’s try to pick a winner. Full disclosure I had Washington locked into this spot but talked myself out of it while writing it. Instead I like the Colts +4 in an early divisional rematch with 1st place on the line. The Jags won the first matchup and have won 8 straight at home vs the Colts but streaks like that are meant to be broken. The Jags are gonna be hungover from two weeks of London ball and are due for a letdown after upsetting the Bills. Meanwhile Anthony Richardson finally broke so Uncle Rico is here to stay. Minshew led the Colts to a road win vs the Ravens earlier this season and now has Jonathan Taylor in the backfield. Taylor once had his best career game vs the Jags and I like him to have a nice welcome back performance. Think this one comes down to a field goal and if so either way we win. Colts +4

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Eagles(-6.5) @ Jets

I think this one should be a fun one to watch until it isn’t. The Jets have shown in recent weeks they are the talented team many expected them to be. Unfortunately though, no matter how many rehab pictures he posts Rodgers isn’t walking through the door anytime soon. Sure Zach Wilson did look somewhat competent vs the Chiefs but then he showed last week he remains a disaster waiting to happen. Unlike the Broncos, the Eagles, are more than capable of capitalizing on his mistakes. The Jets strength is their pass rush but Eagles have the best OL in the league. Breece Hall will find it harder to find running room against the Eagles’ No. 1 ranked run defense. To make matters worse for the Jets they’ll be without starting corners Sauce Gardner and D.J. Reed so we should expect Hurts to get A.J. Brown and DeVonta Smith going early and often. By the way did I mention that the Eagles have never lost to the Jets? That’s a streak that will continue Sunday. Eagles roll.

First off, I just wanna say thank god I didn’t write a blog for Thursday. Whatever slanderous nonsense I would’ve spewed out would’ve only added insult to injury of the money we lost. I mean I actually said Washington -13.5 for a primetime game. But hey like I said last week Bick’s Picks is about arbitrary biases and having a short memory. So much like [Field Goal Boy] Ron Rivera forgetting about his timeouts let’s forget about those L’s and dive into some picks.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Jaguars @ Bills (48.5) (London)

I won’t lie it took me a minute to truly find an over I loved like I did last week. I bounced around for a bit, but inevitably always found myself looking at London. The way I see it, I’ve [Josh Allen] been slinging it in recent weeks so I feel confident I’ll put 35 on my own. Then on the flip side Mr. Ed and friends essentially have relocated to England, so I think the extra rest and lack of travel will work in their favor. Gimme a shootout and an easy win to start my Sunday. [Editors Note: Tottenham Stadium is 5-1 to the Over]

Dogging It

Bengals @ Cardinals (+3)

As avid readers of Bick’s Picks would know we have several pillars of integrity including, but not limited to, plums, bias, and a short memory. Today we reveal another pillar and that’s the pillar of accountability. Some say it’s the most important ability, but we all know that’s availability. Either way the point is MY bad. I know I’m not 100% to blame for the Patriots loss, but I’m definitely a little to blame. So like Atlas I’ll shoulder that blame and promise to never pick the Pats again*. Now that I’ve appeased the editor on to the pick. Simply put I don’t like the Bungles. Burrow isn’t right and they’re just an ugly team to watch. Meanwhile football Charlie V [Josh Dobbs] [Reference to UCONN legend and fellow alopecia gang member Charlie Villanueva] and the Cards are the type of scrappy underdogs this whole segment is built around. Cards cover and maybe win.

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Giants @ Dolphins (-12.5)

Now I know what you’re saying -12.5?? Didn’t you learn your lesson Thursday? And the answer is no, of course I didn’t. This goldfish is whistling past my graveyard of bets and hammering this spread. Giants OL is in shambles, Barkley is still hurt, Daniel Jones is Daniel Jones again, and Daboll is looking more and more like McAdoo by the week. There’s some concern with the Dolphins OL but that’s just me trying to come up with a reason the Giants hang around. Fins roll easy money.