Movies

Top 10 Goodfellas Quotes

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

Time to do something a little different here. Anyone who knows me knows my favorite movie of all time is Goodfellas. Anyone who knows me knows I’m also addicted to making lists and ranking things. So without further ado I present the official Jake’s Takes Top 10 Goodfellas Quotes.

10. “Now the guy’s got Paulie as a partner. Any problems, he goes to Paulie. Trouble with a bill, he can go to Paulie. Trouble with the cops, deliveries, Tommy, he can call Paulie. But now the guy’s gotta come up with Paulie’s money every week, no matter what. Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me.” -Henry Hill

Pretty simple explanation from Henry about what doing business with the mob is like. I just love the repeated “Fuck you, Pay me” it really drives the point home.

9. “Why don’t you go fuck yourself, Tommy?” -Spider

Some powerful last words here from Spider. He definitely picked the wrong guy to provoke. An underrated part of this scene is Jimmy telling Tommy he has to dig the hole, and Tommy tells him he doesn’t give a fuck.

8. “Come on, fuckos. Let’s go for a ride.” -Jimmy Conway

One of my personal favorites right here. Jimmy and Henry are leaving the diner and Jimmy knocks on the window of the cops who are tailing them to wake them up. Also what a great line to say to your friends when you’re about to go somewhere.

7. “That’s the hardest part. Today everything is different. There’s no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can’t even get decent food. After I got here I ordered spaghetti with marinara sauce…and I got egg noodles with ketchup. I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.” -Henry Hill

The final line of the movie is also one of it’s most iconic. Henry talking about what it’s like to be a regular person, or as he calls it a schnook. The quote is also paired with a great visual of Henry getting the paper in his robe outside the witness protection house.

6. “Medium rare… An aristocrat.” -Johnny Dio

Another personal favorite of mine. I love the prison cooking scene. Paulie cutting the garlic and telling them not put too many onions in the sauce probably would’ve made the cut, but I didn’t want to use two quotes from this scene. When it came down to it I like this one better. Johnny cooking the steak in a pan, smoking a cigar, and the way he delivers the line is top notch.

5. “You mean-let me understand this, ‘cause, you know, maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean, funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?” –Tommy DeVito

One of the most quoted and memeable lines from the movie. This one never fails to make me laugh. That along with Henry’s reaction when Tommy tells him he’s fucking with him is all-time, and it starts off the top 5.

4. “I’m gonna go get the papers, get the papers.” -Jimmy Two-Times

I mean what do I have to say about this one? The only line we get from Jimmy is also one of the movies best. This comes right before our number 5 entry and I personally find it funnier because it’s such a preposterous one-off line seemingly out of nowhere.

3. “Now go home and get your fuckin’ shine box” -Billy Batts

Frank Vincent does such a good job at playing a dickhead. If you’ve seen The Sopranos I’m sure you hated Phil Leotardo just as much as I did. Billy just needling Tommy this whole scene is very funny, but as we learned earlier with Spider don’t piss off Tommy cuz he’ll probably kill you.

2. “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.” -Henry Hill

I’m guessing this would be number 1 on a lot of lists, but I’ll get to that later. After the flash forward scene to start the movie this is the unofficial opening line of the movie, and man does it set the tone for the film. A perfect start to the opening scene.

1. “I like this one. One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way… and this guys sayin’ whaddya want from me?” -Tommy DeVito

This is probably my favorite line from any movie ever. I’m not sure what it is about it, but when she pulls that picture up and Tommy gives it his half assed critique it gets me every time. Just all around funny the way the line is delivered, and then the realization of who the painting looks like is fantastic.

So there you have it, the official Jake’s Takes Top 10 Goodfellas Quotes. I’m sure plenty will disagree, but I don’t see you coming up with your own list. So until then this is the undisputed top 10.

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Sports

Betting Guide: NFL Team Futures (Part 2: NFC)

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

Welcome back to Part 2 of my NFL Team Futures blog. Like the last blog, we are going to look at each NFC division and give the best pick to win each division based on value and how realistic their chances at actually winning are. Like I said in the last post this isn’t a prediction blog. This is an advice blog on where you’ll get the best bang for your buck betting division futures. Let’s get into it.

NFC East

The Odds: Cowboys +125, Eagles +165, Commanders +500, Giants +750

Starting off we have what has been probably the most volatile division in the NFL in my lifetime. Out of all 8 divisions this one is always the hardest to pick, so whatever I end up going with is probably wrong. Since the Eagles won four straight division titles from 2001-04, no team has been able to repeat as division champs. That doesn’t bode well for the defending champion Cowboys, who also happen to be the favorites to win the East this year. Another division that feels like a two team race, but you never know when it comes to the NFC Beast. I will say the Giants are going to be out for me here, they seem like they’re headed for another 6/7 win season. I do like the Commanders roster, but what I don’t like is Carson Wentz. This seems like his last chance to prove himself, and if he can’t get it done with Terry McLaurin, Curtis Samuel, and rookie Jahan Dotson to throw to it might be curtains for the duck hunter. So, because of who’s throwing the ball in Washington this one comes down to the Cowboys and Eagles. With pretty similar odds between the two teams this will be another case where value won’t come into play. Everyone seems to be high on the Eagles this year, but this is another case of a good roster with a QB that may be holding them back. Dallas was great during the regular season last year before losing in the Wild Card round to the 49ers. This one is tough for me, I like what the Eagles were able to do in the offseason, but they still finished 3 games behind the Cowboys last year. On the other hand, I don’t think the Cowboys necessarily got worse either so I am riding with Dallas here.

The Play: Cowboys +125

NFC North

The Odds: Packers -175, Vikings +225, Lions +1000, Bears +1400

I’ll be quick with this one. The Lions and the Bears stink, and even though I love Dan Campbell and Justin Fields they’re out. As long as they have Kirk Cousins at QB, Minnesota is going to be a middling .500 team that every few years gets in the 10 win range and sneaks in the Wild Card. The Packers regressed basically just by trading Devante Adams, but I do like their pick of Christian Watson in the second round of the draft after rounding out the defense in the first round. Aaron Rodgers has won the last two MVPs, and while I think someone else wins it this year I don’t think his production will fall off much. Green Bay’s -175 line gives just enough value if you want to pay up a bit for a future while assuming minimal risk. I think the Packers win at least 11 games this season and I don’t see how the Vikings can match that. Set aside a few extra bucks, take the Packers in the North, and sit back and relax.

The Play: Packers -175

NFC South

The Odds: Buccaneers -290, Saints +335, Panthers +1100, Falcons +2200

Another two team race here and very similar to the situation we had with the AFC East. The Panthers and the Falcons won’t be contending for the division this season. What makes this difficult is much like the Bills, there isn’t a ton of value in taking the Bucs here. So that begs the question, do the Saints have any chance at making this a close race? A full season of Jameis Winston is a good start. Last season they were 5-2 in games started by Winston, but finished 9-8 after his ACL injury. They still have a good roster adding Tyrann Mathieu in free agency as well to bolster the defense. I also love what they did in the first round of the draft taking Chris Olave (WR) and Trevor Penning (OT). The Bucs on the other hand retain Tom Brady after a brief retirement, which is all you really need to know about them. They’ll be a 11/12 win team most likely and they probably win this division, but if a couple things go wrong and they Saints hang around they might be able to steal it. Not to mention the Saints are 4-0 against the Bucs with Tom Brady in the regular season. If they can even split the season series it’ll go a long way. At the end of the day I can’t justify taking the Bucs at -290 it just isn’t worth it to me so I’ll roll with Jameis here.

The Play: Saints +335

NFC West

The Odds: Rams +135, 49ers +215, Cardinals +275, Seahawks +900

Seemingly a tough call with three playoff teams from last year, but I actually don’t think this is that hard to pick and I’ll tell you why. The Seahawks aren’t going anywhere with Geno Smith or Drew Lock, so they’re out. The Cardinals are a good team, but until they prove they can play good football past Halloween I’m not buying them to win the division. Can they make the playoffs? Yes 100%, but if they continue fading down the stretch they aren’t winning the division. The 49ers are a team I have vehemently backed in the last few years, but this might be the year I take a break. Another great team, but they are rolling the dice with Trey Lance at QB and who knows what that looks like. That leaves us with the defending Super Bowl Champions. They are a team set up to make another deep playoff run, and I think that starts with them winning the NFC West. When you look at the odds you still get a positive return on the Rams and the payout for the Niners and Cardinals isn’t lucrative enough for me to not take the defending champs here.

The Play: Rams +135

Stay tuned for more NFL betting blogs.

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Sports

Betting Guide: NFL Team Futures (Part 1: AFC)

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

This will serve as the first installment of many NFL betting advice blogs. During the season you can expect weekly posts for betting advice on Thursday Night Football, best bets for the Sunday slate, and Monday Night Football. Here we are going to look at each division (Starting with the AFC) and pick the best bet to win each division based on value and how realistic their chances are at winning said division. Now let me specify, this isn’t a prediction blog. This is an advice blog on where you’ll get the best bang for your buck betting division futures. We’re going to take some risks here so let’s dive in.

AFC East

The Odds: Bills -240, Dolphins +375, Patriots +600, Jets +2000

We’ll start with a tough one. You’ll really have to pay up to get a good return out of taking the Bills here, but it’s tough to see a scenario in which they don’t win the division. The AFC runner-ups from two seasons ago were an OT coinflip away from a very real shot at playing in the Super Bowl last season. While they lost offensive coordinator Brian Daboll, they’ve retained much of the roster that won 11 games last season. You have to think they’ll finish somewhere in that range again this season. When you look at the Dolphins they have a talented roster, but it all comes down to one question: Do you trust Tua? He might prove me wrong, but as of now I’m not a believer so the Dolphins are out for me here. The Jets will probably improve on last season, but they aren’t winning the division. That leaves the Patriots at +600 as our challenger to the Bills. Hand up here I am a die hard Patriots fan. I think Mac Jones takes a big step next season, and the Pats continue to build on what was a solid 2021 campaign under the rookie QB. Is this going to be enough to unseat the Bills though? Even I know it’s going to be tough for the Patriots, but I do love that value. I’m addicted to the plus sign though, so I’m going to cop out here and say if you’re comfortable paying up for a future take the Bills, but for purposes of the blog I’m being a homer and taking the Patriots for the value.

The Play: Patriots +600

AFC North

The Odds: Ravens +130, Bengals, +175, Browns, +425, Steelers +800

For me this division is a two team race. Right off the bat the Steelers will be playing with either Mitchell Trubisky or rookie Kenny Pickett at QB. They’re not winning the division this year, but I’m sure Mike Tomlin will find some way to squeeze 9 wins out of them because that’s just what he does. The Browns should be a good team, but at the end of the day it is the Browns. At this point with a suspension for Deshaun Watson looming the Browns have to be out. That leaves the Ravens and the Bengals. Cincinnati won the division last year and made an impressive run to the Super Bowl. The AFC champs made improvements along their offensive line which was a glaring need for them last season. The Ravens on the other hand were able to grab the highest graded players at their positions in Kyle Hamilton (Saftey) and Tyler Linderbaum (Center) in the first round of the draft. What I keep coming back to is the fact that the Ravens were sitting as the number one seed in AFC prior to Lamar’s injury. After that they lost six straight opening the door for the Bengals to win the division. The difference between the two teams odds is negligible, so this is a little different than picking the East. Basically, I’m picking who I think actually will win the division and I can’t help but think if Lamar is healthy for the whole season that there’s no reason the Ravens won’t take this division. The Bengals won’t make it easy, but I have to go with Baltimore here.

The Play: Ravens +130

AFC South

The Odds: Colts -140, Titans +165, Jaguars +850, Texans +2200

Right off the bat, I’m going to do the obvious and just eliminate the Jaguars and the Texans. This is as clear as a two team race as you can get between the Colts and the Titans. Last year, the Colts surged after an 0-3 start sitting at 9-6 after a win over the Cardinals on Christmas Day. Seemingly poised to make the playoffs, they dropped their final two contests including Week 18 at Jacksonville. Now, a lot of the faults this team had last year can be attributed to the erratic play of Carson Wentz. This offseason the Colts continued their revolving door of veteran QBs by bringing in Matt Ryan. I think Ryan will be an upgrade for the Colts, and the roster they have will support him well. The Titans on the other hand, return much of the roster that won the division and held the 1 seed in the AFC playoffs last season. I think the biggest question that surrounds them this year is what does Ryan Tannehill look like? He’s been good since arriving in Tennessee, but saw a dip in production last year including less yards and TD’s in a 17 game season as well as throwing 14 INT’s. When deciding who to take in this division you more or less have to pick who you think is going to win and roll with it. The Colts -140 line isn’t going to deter me if I really think they can win the division. So with that being said, I think because the Colts upgraded at QB and I foresee some regression for Tannehill. I’d pay up a bit and take the Colts here even as the favorite. The Titans at +165 isn’t a strong enough return for me to risk taking them here when I feel good about the Colts.

The Play: Colts -140

AFC West

The Odds: Chiefs +170, Chargers +225, Broncos +260, Raiders +575

Now let’s finish the AFC with probably the toughest division to pick in the NFL. Two playoff teams from last year (Chiefs and Raiders), a team that should’ve gotten in if they didn’t get greedy in Week 18 and played for a tie (Chargers), and a 7 win team with a great defense that added a future HOF QB (Broncos). The Chiefs are still the favorite here, but for the first time in the Patrick Mahomes era this team may have actually regressed talent-wise this offseason. Losing Tyreek Hill will undoubtedly be tough, but you still have to assume Mahomes will make it work with his current WR corps plus he still has Travis Kelce. The Chargers made some serious upgrades to their defense adding Kahlil Mack and JC Jackson this offseason. I am cautiously high on the Chargers this year. I imagine Justin Herbert only continues to improve and we already know they can score, but the additions to the defense make them tempting. The Broncos I’m not as high on though. While I wouldn’t be shocked if they did put it together, I think they have to prove it first and show they can challenge the Chiefs for the top spot. That leaves the Raiders, a team I think will have a good season, but I just can’t see taking them over one of the top two teams. What I do like is the Raiders at +170 to make the playoffs they feel like a team that can sneak in like they did last year. That leaves the Chiefs and the Chargers. Something keeps telling me that there will be slight regression from the Chiefs leaving the door open for someone else to steal the West. That doesn’t necessarily mean I think the Chiefs 100% don’t win the division, but it feels like the division will be decided by 1 game. So with that being said, I’ll assume the risk and take the Chargers for the better payout.

The Play: Chargers +225

Stay Tuned for Part 2 where we’ll look at the NFC.

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Sports

Assessing the Red Sox at the All-Star Break

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

93 games into the season, the Red Sox sit at 48-45 in 4th place in the East and 2 games behind the Blue Jays for the final wild card spot. Not the first half the team or fans had in mind coming into the season. The roster still has the pieces to make a run and adding at the trade deadline can set the team up to make a deep run in the playoffs.

The Good

There hasn’t been much of this lately, but I guess the best place to start is Rafael Devers play throughout the first half. He started at third base and batted third for the AL this week. Devers is hitting .324 with 22 Home Runs and 55 RBI. His OPS is just south of 1.000 at .980 all while leading the AL in hits (Xander is third with 104). At this pace he’ll finish in the top five in MVP voting. He has arrived as a full fledged superstar in this league and he’s only 25. It’s time to pay the man, but I’ll get to that later.

John Schreiber has been a pleasant surprise for a bullpen that has struggled as a unit this year. Outside of a rough mop up inning against the Yankees on Sunday and allowing some inherited runners to score versus the Rays he has been virtually unhittable since coming up. He boasts a 1.60 ERA with a 0.71 WHIP over 33.2 innings. Cora has entrusted him with facing the heart of the opponents order many times thus far. With the exception of Garrett Whitlock I can’t think of anyone I trust more than him in a big spot.

Kutter Crawford and Josh Winckowski have done a great job recently to keep the rotation afloat. Crawford has looked great in the month of July going 5.1 scoreless against the Rays on the fourth, tossing 5 innings of 1 run ball versus the Yankees on 7/9, and throwing 6 scoreless before coming back out for the 7th and allowing 3 runs in a comeback win for Tampa Bay on 7/14. Winckowski hasn’t necessarily set the world on fire, but what he has done in most of his starts is give the team a chance to win. In two of his last three outings (all losses) he’s allowed 2 and 3 earned runs. The problem is the Sox offense let him down in both of those starts only scoring one run in each game. That’s not going to get it done. These two have given the team a real chance to win in most of their starts while the likes of Eovaldi, Sale, and Wacha have been on the IL.

The Bad

Where do I even start? I guess I’ll start with the obvious and that’s ownerships blatant disrespect for the teams best player, Rafael Devers, and de facto captain and All-Star, Xander Bogaerts. Much has been made about the Red Sox using Matt Olson’s contract (8/$168M) to mold Devers deal, and I don’t even have much to say other than that it is absolutely ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, Olson is a great player, but with Devers we’re talking about a guy who’s going to be a perennial MVP candidate and All-Star. What is the point of drafting and developing guys if as soon as they turn into the stars we all want them to be ownership throws their hands up and cries poor? What happens in a handful of years if Marcelo Mayer has a Devers-like start to his career are we going let him walk too? They already traded Mookie Betts which sucked, but you felt good about where the team was still because of guys like Bogaerts and Devers. Now we’re looking at a potential future without both? No that can’t happen open up the damn checkbook John Henry and as David Ortiz would say “PAY THE MAN.”

The bullpen has been downright terrible all season. I’m not going to carry on about it here, but something needs to change. Whitlock coming back to the pen will help immensely. John Schreiber needs to continue to be lights out. Tanner Houck needs to clean up his act. If you can add an arm at the deadline to go along with these guys that can only help. Maybe Kutter Crawford moves to the bullpen full time when the rotation comes back together. All I know is something needs to change; your move Chaim.

Injuries have plagued this team so far this season, especially the pitching staff. Just when it seemed like everyone was making their way back Story takes a pitch in the hand (thankfully it wasn’t serious), Wacha misses his last two starts before the break because of a tired arm, and of course Chris Sale has one solid outing before taking a comebacker off his pinkie, and breaking it, in his second start. You can’t make up luck that bad. If they can stay healthy in the second half that’ll go a long way.

What’s Next?

The first one is pretty simple. RESIGN DEVERS AND BOGAERTS.

Alright now that I got that off my chest, now what can the Sox do at the deadline? It’s pretty simple they need to add an arm. Whether its a starter, think a non rental like Frankie Montas or Luis Castillo, a bullpen pitcher with some control, like Gregory Soto, or a rental like Daniel Bard (remember him?). The pitching staff isn’t the only part of the team with faults, adding a true first baseman with a good bat is also a massive need. You’ll hear a lot about acquiring guys like Josh Bell and CJ Cron, but I see Bloom rental shopping here, so he doesn’t have to dip into his precious farm system. I’m not really sure where that leaves us maybe go after a guy like Jesus Aguilar or Seth Brown (maybe as part of a Montas package). The point is Bloom needs to make a move. This team is still built to win now and has plenty of chips to bargain with to get something done.

So there you have it an in depth comprehensive state of the Red Sox from an incredibly frustrated fan, can’t you tell?

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Sports

Pivetta Struggles as Sox Drop Game Two to the Rays

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

After sleepwalking through Monday’s contest the Rays bats woke up tagging Nick Pivetta for 7 earned over 5.2 innings. It all started in the top of the 1st after the first two reached for Tampa a controversial ball four call to Wander Franco loaded the bases which were cleared two batters later by Red Sox killer Kevin Kiermaier. After a Kiermaier baserunning error lead to an inning ending double play the Sox responded in the bottom of the inning on a two run shot to center from Xander Bogaerts.

Pivetta seemed to settle in and cruised through the next four innings. In the bottom half of the 2nd Trevor Story knotted the game at three with his second home run in as many days and it felt as if the Red Sox were back on track. Then in the bottom of the 5th an 0-2 single from Refsnyder followed by a JD Martinez double had the Sox looking at second and third with nobody out an opportunity they would squander as the next three batters were set down.

That proved costly as the Rays were able to push three more across to run Pivetta from the game. Jake Diekman allowed an inherited runner to score to widen the gap to a four run lead. Pivetta finished the day giving up seven earned runs his most of the season.

After Boston was set down 1-2-3 in the bottom of the frame Alex Cora ran out his proverbial white flag in Hansel Robles who gave up another to run which extended Tampa’s lead to 8-3. Allow me to rant here for a bit: why is Hansel Robles still on this roster? Better yet why is he being used in any situation that isn’t a mop up role? Now I imagine when the rotation comes together with the likes of Sale, Eovaldi, Whitlock, and Paxton all on their way he’ll be DFA’d ,but that still doesn’t explain his use in any winnable game. While he did have a solid month of April he’s been basically unusable ever since. Giving up 7 ER in only 6 innings in June alone shows where he is at. Okay enough about Robles and back to this very uneven performance from the Red Sox.

As the rain started to come down at Fenway the Red Sox were able to cut the deficit back to 4 on a Bogaerts sac fly and Tyler Danish was solid for 2 innings to keep the score at 8-4 heading into the 9th. After Duran and Refsnyder singles followed by Martinez and Bogaerts strike outs Christian Vasquez had a pitch hit him in the helmet setting up a bases loaded two out situation for Trevor Story. Unfortunately he was unable to capitalize and popped out to shortstop and the Red Sox fell to 9-17 against the AL East.

A tough loss but one that you’d like to think is an anomaly. I don’t see Pivetta getting shelled like that often ,but the real issue is the missed opportunities from the Red Sox offense lately. Just tonight they had 11 hits but also left 11 on base that can’t happen especially when your pitcher doesn’t have his best stuff. Nothing to do but look forward, shake it off, win the series tomorrow.

Top pitching prospect Brayan Bello makes his major league debut tomorrow against Corey Kluber (3-5).

Final: Rays 8 Red Sox 4 W: Ryan Thompson (2-2) L: Nick Pivetta (8-6)

EDIT* Looks like Chaim Bloom heard me last night. Hansel Robles has been DFA’d to make room for Bello on the MLB roster.

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Sports

Red Sox Begin Important Stretch with 2 Hit Shutout of Tampa Bay

Posted on by Jake Rezendes

With Michael Wacha scratched for what is being described as “dead arm” the Red Sox sent Austin Davis to the mound as an opener in what turned out to be one of the best collective pitching performances the Sox have had this season. After two scoreless innings from Davis, Cora turned the ball over to Kutter Crawford who was the story of the day. In what was his best outing of the season Crawford threw 5.1 innings yielding only 2 hits and a walk while striking out 8 Rays. Save for a two out throwing error by Crawford to keep the Rays alive in the 3rd, Kutter was nearly untouchable on the day. After Brett Phillips reached on a dropped strike three Crawford gave way to John Schreiber who sat the next five batters down in order for the save.

At the plate Boston was able to push across four runs highlighted by a 4th inning homer into the Sox bullpen from Trevor Story (2-4 HR, RBI) to get scoring started. The offense struck again the next inning after Arroyo doubled and eventually scored on a Devers grounder to second that was misplayed by Paredes. Boston was able to add two more insurance runs in the 8th which was more than enough for Schreiber who has been nails in the late innings for the Sox this season.

All in all a great way to start a very important stretch of 27 games vs teams with winning records. I’d like to see the bats wake up a bit more though. Boston was able to manage 11 hits but squandered some good scoring opportunities including the 2nd when they loaded the bases but were unable to score. They also struggled to score in the final two games in Chicago but, hopefully the 11 hits yesterday were a step in the right direction. They’re definitely going need to heading into a four game series with the Yankees this weekend.

Before we get to the weekend though, Boston will send Nick Pivetta (8-5) to the mound tonight opposite Jeffrey Springs (3-2) in game two of this three game set against the Rays.

Final: Red Sox 4 Rays 0, W: Crawford (2-2) L: Fleming (2-4) S: Schreiber (3)

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