Sports

Fuck BetOnline

I was struggling trying to figure out what I was going to write about these next couple weeks now that football is over. Well BetOnline has given me plenty to write about now. To give a little backstory, I deposited a total of $400 into my account over the course of the football season. We don’t unit shame here by the way. I’m fucking poor so I don’t bet a ton of money because I’m only a semi-moron. Going into the Super Bowl I had $200 left in my account. Now that online sportsbooks were set to go live in Massachusetts on March 10th I decided I was going to bet my whole account on the game. So I put half on the Chiefs +1.5 and bet the rest on props. Thanks to the Chiefs and Harrison Butker hitting an upright I walked away from the game with $344 in my account. My plan was to pull out whatever I won and hold onto it and put it in my new book in March. Here’s where the story gets fun.

I got a text from my good friend Jeff on Monday morning saying he can’t get his money out of BetOnline because of bonus money rollover rules. So I immediately checked my account. Turns out every time you accept a deposit bonus you need to use what you deposit plus the bonus money 10x over in order to pull any money out of your account. At this point I was only 48% of the way to my rollover number which was $4,200. I had used $2,041.33 as of Monday morning.

So I had a genius idea. In order to bet this final $2,100 I was going to put large wagers on heavy favorites in order to unlock the money. My first venture was the College of Charleston money line against Northeastern. They went off at -1600 and I put $200.66 on them to win $12.54. They won easily and I thought I had a foolproof system to get the money out. 10 or 11 more wagers like that and the money would be mine, but as Lee Corso would say “Not so fast, my friend!”

When I went to check my rollover number I noticed it was at 2,053.99/4,200. Still 48%. Turns out BetOnline takes the lower number between the wager and the payout and applies it to your total. So if you bet $200 to win $12 like I did it takes the $12 and applies it to rollover total. If you bet $5 to win $100 it would take the $5 and apply it to the total. It’s basically to stop people from doing what I did which I guess is smart. The problem I have with it is how shady it is. I get it’s a sketchy overseas online gambling company, but come on. I used Bovada in the past and to unlock their bonus money you just had to win bets and it would unlock. None of this ridiculous 10x bullshit. I probably could’ve read the fine print, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to take responsibility for my own actions.

I know we’re not talking about a ton of money here either, but for a poor fuck like me it would be nice to take out the $350 I have and use it, rather then have to deposit even more money while I have some just sitting there. The whole situation is very frustrating, but it begs the question. What do I do now? There’s really only one thing to do. I have to exact revenge on BetOnline. I’ll get the money out of that account if it fucking kills me. I’ll drag them down to the depths of Hell. More realistically though, I’ll probably lose it in a week or two and be even more pissed off, but I’m going to try like a motherfucker.

Let’s get into it then. The first bet on my way to unlocking my money. I’ll be honest with you too, I’m going to be taking expert advice here. I need to win at a very high clip and my 55% winning percentage, while good, probably won’t cut it. Plus there’s going to be a lot of College Basketball wagers in here which for sure isn’t my specialty.

Tonight’s play is George Washington (PK) (-117) $200.20 to win $171.11 vs. George Mason. I got this pick courtesy of Action Network so, hopefully they don’t steer me wrong. Stay tuned for more updates on my revenge tour against BetOnline.

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Super Bowl LVII

Kansas City Chiefs (14-3) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (14-3)

Spread: Eagles (-1.5) Total: (51)

One more NFL gambling blog for the season and it’s the most important pick of the year. Super Bowl 57 is finally here and what a game it should be. There are a lot of factors at play that make this game difficult to handicap. Let’s get into my pick for the spread and I’ll even throw out some props that I like at the end.

The Eagles have been the public betting favorite since the first lines went up after the AFC Championship game. They actually opened as 2 point underdogs, and so much money came in on them it flipped the line by the morning which has now settled at 1.5. This just feels eerily similar to the Bengals game for the Chiefs though. A hotshot team with a young QB, coming off a dominant win over a very good opponent gets all the love from the public. I don’t think I can make the same mistake again. Sure, the Chiefs have been horrendous ATS this year (7-11-1), but that’s mostly been due to them being favored by a large margin and not covering in a win. I understand the Chiefs are banged up too, but I still don’t see why we should be giving Patrick Mahomes any points in any game. As an underdog he is 7-1-1 ATS and 6-3 SU in 9 starts. Every time I think of a reason why the Eagles could win the game in my head my counterpoint is always “Patrick Mahomes.”

As for the rest of the game it’s tough to ignore the Eagles talent across the board. There’s no denying the names they have, but are we just going to forget the fact that the Chiefs defense only gave up 20 points to the Bengals two weeks ago? I mean just matching up offenses the Bengals are better at QB, RB, and WR. TE is a slight lean towards Philly and the offensive line is a runaway by the Eagles. I think people are underestimating what the Kansas City defense can do. When you look at the Chiefs too, especially on offense, they have guys that have been there before in big games and that experience could make a difference late in the game. It goes without saying, but the Chiefs also have the advantage at head coach as well. I don’t want to look back on this game and think to myself “why did I bet against Mahomes getting points?” Like I said earlier I’m not making that mistake again. I see Mahomes leading a late scoring drive to lift Kansas City to victory.

The Play: Chiefs +1.5

Final Prediction

Chiefs 23 Eagles 20

Props to Think About

For what it’s worth I like the Under in this game as well. I probably won’t bet it, but this total is sitting all the way up at 51 and I expect this game to be played tight especially early on. The Eagles also run a lot which lends to the under.

  • Isiah Pacheco Any Time Touchdown (+120)
  • Isiah Pacheco At Least 12 Carries (-106)
  • Boston Scott Any Time Touchdown (+450)
  • Over 3.5 Field Goals (+130)
  • Kansas City Longest Punt Over 56.5 (+100)
  • Patrick Mahomes Any Time Touchdown (+400)
Music

Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Nominees and Who I Voted For

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame recently announced the nominees for their 2023 class. Usually I don’t get wrapped up in the Rock HoF because they refuse to put actual pioneers of the genre into the hall, but this year has some legit nominees. There are so many bands that haven’t even gotten a nomination yet that without a question deserve one.

In my opinion the best grunge band of all time Alice in Chains has been eligible for eight years and has yet to receive a nomination. Faith No More who were one of the biggest influencers of the Nu Metal movement, and alternative metal juggernauts in their own right, haven’t been nominated in thirteen opportunities. While he got in for Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne (or his band) hasn’t even been nominated. Pantera and Slayer (15 years) have also not been nominated. That’s just to name a few of my personal favorites and there are countless more snubs. Enough about who isn’t in though. This year we have a very good class of nominees, so without further ado here’s who got my five votes for the Hall this year.

The Nominees:

  • Missy Elliott
  • Cyndi Lauper
  • Rage Against the Machine
  • The Spinners
  • George Michael
  • Joy Division + New Order
  • Warren Zevon
  • The White Stripes
  • Willie Nelson
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Iron Maiden
  • Soundgarden
  • A Tribe Called Quest
  • Kate Bush

George Michael

We’ll start with the pick that I am least familiar with. While I don’t find myself listening to his music all that much there’s no denying his influence and popularity within the genre. Michael found success both with his band Wham! and as a solo artist. He also had a mega hit with “Faith” (I prefer the Limp Bizkit version, but that’s just me), and he’s been nominated for, and won so many awards he has his own Wikipedia page for them. Again it’s not really my style of music, but I can recognize a massive talent when I see one, and George Michael deserves to have his name with the greats.

Warren Zevon

Warren Zevon is an artist that I’ll listen to from time to time and really enjoy, I’ve just never taken a deep dive on him. His hits are exactly that, hits. He’s a masterful songwriter as well. The way he can tell a story (“Werewolves of London”), or convey emotion (“Keep Me in Your Heart”) is incredible. I first truly discovered Zevon watching the show “Californication” and they did such a great job using his music in the show that I had to take a listen myself. He’s a guy who doesn’t get recognized for all he’s accomplished and it’s about time he get’s the respect he deserves.

Iron Maiden

These last three for me are no brainers. We’ll start with Iron Maiden. How they are not in at this point (and this is only their second nomination) is an abomination. We’re talking about a band here that are more or less the founding fathers of metal along with Black Sabbath. Their discography speaks for itself. They churned out hit after hit and are so popular they still tour to this day. They put out two very good albums with their original vocalist Paul Di’Anno before moving on to Bruce Dickinson where they exploded in popularity. From there they only went on to be one of the biggest metal bands of all time. There’s a ton of steps that need to be take to re-legitimize the Hall and Iron Maiden getting it would be a huge leap in the right direction.

Soundgarden

Another heavy hitter nominated for the second time is Soundgarden. I mean, they should be in just based off of having Chris Cornell as their lead singer. That dude is as rock & roll as they come and one of the most talented vocalists I’ve ever heard. I’ve always been a big fan of grunge and Soundgarden is essential to the genre. It’s a slap in the face that they (and Alice in Chains while we’re at it) have yet to be recognized for their greatness. Their catalog is so versatile too. They have a song for every mood. You want to be a sad boy? Listen to “Blow Up the Outside World.” You want to drink a sleeve of Fireball and blow half an Adderall up your nose? Throw on “Outshined.” No, I definitely wasn’t talking about someone specific there (or was I?). Point is this band embodies rock & roll like few do. They should be in.

Rage Against the Machine

Come the fuck on with this one. How are these guys not in yet? They have the perfect “spit in your face” sort of defiance that rock & roll was built on. A band literally about fighting the power, raging against the machine if you will. I said Soundgarden embodied rock & roll like few do, well Rage is part of that group as well. Not only that, but their library can stack up with anyone. Sure they only have three full length albums of their own, but they are all incredible. The self titled album has no skips. Cover to cover one of the best rock/metal albums you’ll find. Evil Empire and The Battle of Los Angeles can hold their own with most bands best work as well. It’s a travesty they continue to get nominated and not voted in. This should be the year.

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Conference Championships

Only three games remain in the NFL season and it looks like we’re primed for two really good ones this weekend. After a rough wild card showing we bounced back last week with a 3-1 record all ATS. Let’s see what we can do this weekend.

NFC Championship

49ers vs. Eagles (-2.5) (46.5)

If you know me and you’ve been reading my picks this year, then I think you know where I’m going with this one. Everyone seems to be really high on the Eagles right now and for good reason. They just dominated the Giants and when healthy they’ve easily been the best team in the NFL. They haven’t run up on a defense like the one they’re going to face this weekend though. The Eagles offensive line is probably their biggest strength and it’ll be put to the test on Sunday. The 49ers are going to have to generate pressure on Jalen Hurts. Just ask the Giants. If you give him time to sit back and throw he’s going to do some damage and the 49ers secondary has been shaky as of late. I do think if there’s a unit that can disrupt the Eagles seemingly impenetrable pass protection it’s the 49ers defensive line. For Brock Purdy and the offense it’s going to be another game of protecting the football and not making mistakes. The Eagles boast the leagues best passing defense so look for a heavy dose of Christian McCaffrey and Elijah Mitchell. They also have guys where if you just get them the ball they can make a play (Deebo, Aiyuk, Kittle), so I’d expect a lot of short throws and check downs to let those guys do their thing. I truly think San Francisco can win this game. You’ve heard it all week that a rookie QB has never made it to the Super Bowl as a starter, but that was before we knew about Brocktober. That has to change at some point right? Why not now? We ride into battle with the Niners on Sunday.

The Play: 49ers +2.5

AFC Championship

Bengals vs. Chiefs (-1) (47.5)

This line has swung like crazy over the last week. It opened with the Chiefs favored by 1.5. The next day it moved to favor the Bengals, who we’re all the way up at -2.5, before the line moved back to Kansas City -1 on Thursday. This has to be attributed to the uncertainty around Patrick Mahomes health. I have no doubts he plays in this game, but can he be as effective as he usually is with his legs? I’m not sure about that. While he can still stand in the pocket and carve up a defense, what makes him the most special is how he’s able to move in the pocket and extend plays. If he’s unable to do that the Chiefs will have trouble keeping pace with the Bengals offense. The Chiefs defense has also struggled at times this year and after seeing what the Bengals did to the Bills last week I expect more of the same. For the Bengals to win their defense is going to have to come up with stops in big spots. Sam Hubbard and Trey Hendrickson will need to put the pressure on a hobbled Mahomes in order for that to happen. They’ll also need to have a better game plan than the Jaguars did for Travis Kelce. Make one of the other receivers beat you. There’s no Tyreek Hill anymore and Mahomes has had to rely on Kelce more than ever. It’s easier said than done, but chipping him off the line or just putting a body on him can make a difference. The Jags never seemed to be in the same area code as him on half his catches and he burned them because of it. I think the Bengals have what it takes to get it done again in KC this year. They’ve been playing incredible football for the last couple months and despite still being really good this doesn’t feel like the powerhouse Chiefs teams of the last couple years. They still do have Patrick Mahomes, but the Bengals have Joe Burrow and he’s on Mahomes level now. Bengals punch their second straight ticket to the Super Bowl on Sunday.

The Play: Bengals +1

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Divisional Round

What a great round this is shaping up to be. All these games should be hotly contested. Let’s hope we do a bit better on the gambling side of things this time around. Last weekend we went 2-4 overall (2-3 ATS, 0-1 Totals) mostly thanks to the Chargers blowing a 27 point lead, and the Bengals/Ravens hitting the over by 1/2 a point. No time for excuses though time to buckle down and carve out a 4-0 weekend.

Jaguars vs. Chiefs (-8.5) (53)

We start the divisional round with the biggest spread of the weekend. Last time we saw the Chiefs they ran the Raiders out of their own building in Week 18. The Jaguars on the other hand made a furious comeback to erase a 27 point deficit despite 5 first half turnovers. When I look at this game I see a team in Kansas City that undoubtedly should win, but is 8.5 too much? The Chiefs finished the season 6-10-1 ATS this season. I know I used the same logic in their Week 18 game in Las Vegas that they weren’t covering due to inflated lines, and they stuffed me in a locker and won 31-13. The difference here is the Jaguars are a better team than the Raiders and this is essentially the same line (although this game is in KC). The Chiefs defense has been a problem for them this season, and I think that allows Jacksonville to hang around. The Jags need to finish drives in order to keep pace with the Chiefs who give up TDs on 67% of opponents redzone trips. We saw what not finishing opportunities can do last week with the Chargers leaving points on the board that allowed the Jaguars to get back into the game. I’m trusting Doug Pederson to be crafty with his offense on Saturday, and I think we get the Trevor Lawrence from the second half last week. If that’s the case I don’t see why the Jaguars can’t keep this to a touchdown.

The Play: Jaguars +8.5

Giants vs. Eagles (-7.5) (48)

This game basically comes down to how you feel about the Eagles health. I’m not sold on the fact that Jalen Hurts is 100% despite the fact that he’s off the injury report. I’m guessing Lane Johnson is going to play, but how is he going to look? Can Kayvon Thibodeaux take advantage? They also could be without cornerback Avonte Maddox as well. Then you have to wonder do I trust the Giants to take advantage? After last weeks performance I think I do. The Eagles defense has been very good this year so I don’t expect a ton of points from the Giants, but I think they’re good enough to stay competitive. I also have faith that Brian Daboll will have a different look for this game than he did last time these teams faced off with both teams starters playing (Eagles won 48-22). I do think Philly finds a way to win a close game. Divisional games in the playoffs tend to be played a little tighter as well. Look no further than last week with Bills/Dolphins and Bengals/Ravens. Both Underdogs covered and even had chances to win the game. With the line where it’s at just over a touchdown I like the Giants to cover. I think the leeway they’re giving you with that 1/2 point is too valuable to pass up.

The Play: Giants +7.5

Bengals vs. Bills (-5) (48.5)

Both these teams failed to cover last week despite facing backup QBs. Now this week they’ll each have to deal with each others equally scary QBs. Both guys have shown they can deliver in big moments and that’s what makes this game so highly anticipated. I love what both teams bring offensively and I don’t think either offense will have a problem scoring. The thing that is going to decide this game is which defense can get a stop when it matters? The Bills defense with Von Miller is a different animal, but without him they’ve taken a step back. While Greg Rousseau has been good in his second year at DE it still doesn’t make up for Millers absence. With all the Bengals injuries on the offensive line this is an area the Bills need to take advantage of, but without Miller I think Joe Burrow will have a clean enough pocket to do some damage on Sunday. The Bills offense feels like they have fallen into this mode lately where it seems like every play they’re throwing the ball deep. With them being a bit more one dimensional in that regard the Bengals are going to have to limit big plays down the field to guys like Diggs and Davis. If they can do that and force Buffalo to adjust their game plan they might be able to come up with enough key stops to win the game. I think with the spread up at 5 it gives enough wiggle room for the Bengals to slip up and lose, but still cover. This should be the best game of the weekend. I think it’s decided by a field goal. Either way the Bengals cover.

The Play: Bengals +5

Cowboys vs. 49ers (-3.5) (46)

The Cowboys looked impressive on Monday Night, and if they can jump on the Niners early like they did to the Bucs it could be a problem for San Francisco. You have to remember though. Tampa Bay is awful. I know I took them last week, but I was blinded by Tom Brady. Any other name there at QB and I would’ve went with Dallas. The 49ers started slow, but turned it on in the second half. I just think they’re defense is too good to look past right now. They will frustrate Dak, and I know he didn’t throw a pick last week, but I’m predicting multiple takeaways for the 49ers defense on Sunday. For San Francisco offensively all Brock Purdy has to do is take care of the football and let his playmakers do the rest. If he’s smart with the ball I can’t see the Cowboys being able to get any momentum going. With the line at 3.5 you’re going to have to sweat this one for awhile because Dallas will hang around early. I hate taking favorites at 3.5 because so many close games are won by a field goal, but I love the Niners in this one. Even if the game is close down the stretch Brett Mahar has completely forgot how to kick extra points apparently so who knows what could happen. One miss could change everything, but I don’t even think we get to that point. San Francisco controls the ball early and the Cowboys cripple themselves with second half turnovers. It’s fucking Brocktober baby, and it’s just getting started.

The Play: 49ers -3.5

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Super Wild Card Weekend

It’s finally playoff time in the NFL. Before we get into the picks for each game I wanted to give a rundown on how I fared in the regular season with my picks:

Overall: 83-67-5 (55.16%) (2 canceled bets from Bills/Bengals)

  • Thursday: ATS- 11-8 Total- 7-8-1
  • Monday: ATS- 12-5 Total- 7-6-2
  • Monday/Thursday: ATS- 23-13
  • Favorite: 11-5-1
  • Charlie Murphy’s Habitual Line Stepper of the Week (Underdog): 11-9
  • Over: 8-9
  • Under: 10-7
  • Definitely Not My Lock of the Week: 6-10-1 (*all “lock” bets were ATS except 1)
  • ATS Overall: 51-36-2
  • Totals Overall: 32-31-3

Not terrible for having to shoehorn certain picks that maybe weren’t my favorite. It also seems that I tended to forget that I was supposed to be doing a lock of the week and picked the other four first and left that pick in no mans land. Anyways, next year I’ll probably adjust the format, but that’s not on my mind right now. Let’s get into the Wild Card slate where I’ll be giving one pick for each game.

Seahawks vs. 49ers (-9.5) (42.5)

I like the 49ers way too much for my own good right now. Their defense is championship caliber and Kyle Shanahan has done a good job at hiding Brock Purdy and playing to the strengths of his weapons on offense. The Seahawks faltered down the stretch, but still found a way into the playoffs thanks to the Lions win in Green Bay last Sunday. Nothing about the way they have been playing lately though makes me think they can win this game. Their offense hasn’t looked at all like what it did in the first half of the season and playing against this 49ers defense won’t help that cause. On the other side of the ball the 49ers have shown they can score enough against the Seahawks defense to cover this spread. They only won by 8 in their last matchup, but that game was played in Seattle. Not to mention they have scored over 30 points in 5 of their last 6 games. With home field advantage and momentum on their side San Francisco is the team to back in the playoff opener.

The Play: 49ers -9.5

Chargers (-2.5) vs. Jaguars (47.5)

This should be a close and competitive game. Potentially the best of the weekend. Jacksonville has surged into the playoffs on the heels of 5 straight wins. I just don’t know how sustainable that is for a team that still lacks the talent of a true contender. The Jags have been a fun team this year and I wish I felt stronger about them in this game, but unfortunately I don’t. The problem with that is the team on the other side of the ball doesn’t instill much confidence either. The Chargers have a rich history of fucking things up so I’m nervous to take them. What I do like though is that they finally seem to be reaching their potential, or at least what the media thought their potential should be. They also boast a very talented offense, one unlike the Jaguars have seen in the last few weeks. Jacksonville’s last three wins have come against Josh Dobbs, Davis Mills, and Zach Wilson. Not really a who’s who of talent there. That’s not to say they haven’t beaten anyone good, but I think the Chargers are bringing more firepower than they’ve seen recently. The line also plays a big factor here. I do think this will be a close game so to get this under 3 points is huge. This will come right down to the wire and the Chargers will come away with a one score victory.

The Play: Chargers -2.5

Dolphins vs. Bills (-13.5) (43.5)

This is going to be a whoopin’. The Dolphins will start Skylar Thompson for the second straight week with Tua and Teddy Bridgewater still on the shelf. The Bills offense appears to still be firing on all cylinders and I don’t think Miami will have much of an answer for it. Last time these teams faced off it was a 3 point game, but that game was started by Tua, and the Dophins gave up 32 points. I like the Bills to find themselves somewhere in the low 30’s on Sunday and if you think the Fins won’t score more than 17 (which I don’t think they will) then you have to go Bills here.

The Play: Bills -13.5

Giants vs. Vikings (-3) (48)

Just a few weeks ago this was a very competitive game that came down to a last second field goal by the Vikings to win it. I feel like we’re in for the same type of game, so I like the Giants to keep this close again. Kirk Cousins is 48-37-2 ATS at 1 pm or earlier and 21-32 ATS at 4 pm or later. I’ll take my chances with those odds. The Vikings are also 11-0 in one score games this season. Usually when you see teams squeaking out wins like that there will be a correction at some point. Whether that happens in the playoffs or the following season it will happen. The Vikings have gotten by winning some really tight and even straight up lucky games (think the Bills game) while all four of their losses have been by double digits. I’m not saying the Giants are going to go into Minneapolis and blow out the Vikings. This will be a close game and one the Giants can win. If Daniel Jones can take care of the football the Giants get the run game going with Saquon Barkley I like their chances Sunday afternoon.

The Play: Giants +3

Ravens vs. Bengals (-9) (40.5)

I’m waffling between two picks for this one. I don’t see any way the Bengals lose, but there is the possibility the Ravens keep this close because of their defense. Anthony Brown looks to be the starter for the Ravens if Tyler Huntley can’t go. Taking that into account the under looks juicy here too. I just don’t like how low the number is. These teams put up a combined 43 points just last week. Since Lamar has gone out though, 5 of the Ravens last 6 games have gone under 40 points. In fact none have gone over 30 besides the Bengals game. I would lean Bengals on the spread, but the Ravens defense makes me nervous with a 9 point line. The Ravens have only lost by more than 10 twice this year so they would’ve covered this spread in 15 of 17 games. I think with the uncertainties around the Quarterback position for the Ravens and the line where it’s at the under is a bit safer. If Huntley is able to go I still like the under and the line might move up a bit if you wanted to wait on this bet. You’re going to have to sweat it out, but it’s the play.

The Play: Under 40.5

Cowboys (-2.5) vs. Buccaneers (45.5)

The Buccaneers have not been good this year and they’ve been even worse ATS (4-12-1), but I love them in this spot for some reason. The Cowboys looked awful last week and while you can take that with a grain of salt you have to acknowledge Dak Prescott’s interception problem this year. He tied with Davis Mills for the NFL lead with 15 interceptions. If that’s not bad enough Mills played 15 games this year and Dak only played in 12. You can’t win in the playoffs if you turn the ball over and Dak hasn’t shown he can keep a clean sheet this year. Let’s also not forget that Tom Brady is lining up under center for the other team. He hasn’t looked like himself, but it’s still Tom Brady we’re talking about. I don’t think he has another magical Super Bowl run in him, but I have 20 years experience rooting for Brady when he was on the Pats and let me tell you this is the exact type of bullshit game he wins. As long as Todd Bowles doesn’t fuck anything up (BIG if) if you’re giving Brady points at home in the playoffs I’m taking it.

The Play: Buccaneers +2.5

Sports

2022-23 NFL Playoff Predictions

The field is set for the NFL playoffs and it seems as though we should be in for a great couple of weeks. Before I get into any gambling angles for this weekend (that post will be out at the end of the week) I wanted to first give my predictions on how I see the playoff bracket shaking out. There’s still some unknowns when it comes to certain players as of right now so that’s why I’m going to hold off on the gambling side of things for now. Let’s get started.

Final Standings

AFC

  1. Chiefs 14-3
  2. Bills 13-3
  3. Bengals 12-4
  4. Jaguars 9-8
  5. Chargers 10-7
  6. Ravens 10-7
  7. Dolphins 9-8

NFC

  1. Eagles 14-3
  2. 49ers 13-4
  3. Vikings 13-4
  4. Buccaneers 8-9
  5. Cowboys 12-5
  6. Giants 9-7-1
  7. Seahawks 9-8

Super Wild Card Weekend

2. 49ers over 7. Seahawks

Just like they did during the regular season against Seattle the Niners roll to kick off the playoffs.

5. Chargers over 4. Jaguars

I hate doing this to the Jags, but this is a completely different Chargers team than the one they beat in Week 3. Jacksonville has been fighting for their lives for five weeks now. It seems about time they run out of gas.

2. Bills over 7. Dolphins

Just like the Niners the Bills roll here. If Tua plays he’ll keep Miami in the game. If not prepare for a blowout.

6. Giants over 3. Vikings

You had to know this was coming. I’m still calling fraud alert on the Vikings. The Giants had them on the ropes Christmas Eve. This time they finish the job.

3. Bengals over 6. Ravens

The Ravens have been sliding as of late. I don’t even think Lamar Jackson can save them now. Bengals win a hard fought game.

4. Buccaneers over 5. Cowboys

I wasn’t going to do it, but after watching Dallas’ starters scuffle against the Commanders I think Tom’s got one more playoff win in him for the Bucs.

Divisional Round

1. Chiefs over 5. Chargers

It’s hard to beat a team three times, but I think Kansas City gets it done. The Chargers will battle to the end, but Mahomes walks out victorious once again.

2. Bills over 3. Bengals

I had the Bills winning in their canceled Monday Night game so I’m going to stick with that. This could be one of the best games of the entire playoffs. If it happens buckle-up.

1. Eagles over 6. Giants

Just what the doctor ordered for the banged up Eagles. They should cruise to a win here while they look to get healthy for the NFC Championship game.

2. 49ers over 4. Buccaneers

The 49ers handed the Bucs one of their worst losses of the season at Levi’s Stadium earlier this year. There’s nothing that makes me think that can’t happen again.

Championship Round

2. Bills over 1. Chiefs (Neutral Field)

Looks like we do get the neutral field game after all (or at least that’s what I see happening). I think the Bills show everyone why they should’ve been the 1 seed this whole time.

2. 49ers over 1. Eagles

The Eagles are limping (literally) into the playoffs and I think that finally comes back to bite them here. Sure they got a nice cushy matchup with Giants in the divisional round, but the Niners are a different animal.

Super Bowl

2. 49ers over 2. Bills

If there’s one thing the media loves it’s a good narrative. The Bills have been through hell in the last week and are the obvious storybook team of destiny this year. They were also probably the team picked the most to win the Super Bowl before the season started. Well let me tell you something about stories. They’re made up. Unfortunately not everything in life has a happy ending. If it did they’d be hoisting the Lombardi trophy on February 12th, but that won’t be the case. The Bills ended the season for my Patriots in Week 18 and theirs will come to an end at the hands of the 49ers. They always say defense wins championships and if the 2000 Ravens could win Trent Dilfer a Super Bowl this 49ers defense can win Brock Purdy a Super Bowl. In about four weeks we’ll know for sure and when that day comes the name of the second month on the calendar will be changed from February to Brocktober.

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Week 18

We finally made it to Week 18 of the NFL season. With games on Saturday and Sunday this weekend everything is fair game for this post. This seems like an impossible week to handicap. I’m not sure there’s much I like at all with this slate, but we’ll see. I will note I won’t be giving plays for the Patriots-Bills and Bengals-Ravens games. There’s just too much up in the air right now for both of those teams at the moment. With that being said let’s dive in.

Favorite

Vikings (-5.5) vs. Bears

I don’t think I’ve bet on the Vikings all year, but this seems like a pretty good spot for them. I hate almost every favorite this weekend too so this has been tough to call for me. I’m guessing the Vikings will be playing their starters for at least half of this game because they are still playing for seeding. The Bears on the other hand are in full blown tank mode for the second pick (or the first) and are starting Nathan Peterman at QB. I think getting Minnesota by less than a TD makes sense here. Roll with the Vikes.

Charlie Murphy’s Habitual Line Stepper of the Week (Underdog)

Rams (+6.5) vs. Seahawks

I know this is a win and maybe in situation for the Seahawks, but 6.5 seems like a lot of points for a Seattle team that hasn’t played that great recently. I think there’s also something to be said for LA playing to keep a division rival out of the playoffs. The Rams also don’t have their first round pick so they aren’t motivated to lose either. Seattle might win, but I think by a field goal would be more realistic.

Over

Lions vs. Packers (49)

This should be a fun matchup to close the regular season. I was tempted to go with the Lions spread, but I’d rather see how the line reacts after the Seahawks game earlier in the day. Detroit has been an over team all year. I think Green Bay has no trouble scoring against the Lions defense and I think the Detroit offense will put up plenty of points. I see both teams in the high 20’s at the end of this one.

Under

Browns vs. Steelers (40.5)

The Browns have been a big under team since Deshaun Watson returned and I don’t think that changes on Sunday. The Steelers defense has been very good since TJ Watt’s return and their offense has only averaged 17.9 PPG this season. Have to go under here.

The Definitely Not My Lock of the Week Bonus Pick

Raiders (+9) vs. Chiefs

Same idea as last week with Kansas City. They keep getting these inflated lines because of how good they are, but 9 points to a team you beat by 1 earlier this season? That’s a bit much. I know the Chiefs have everything to play for with the 1 seed on the line and the Raiders have been eliminated, but they seem like a team that’s not going to roll over and die late in the season. They almost beat the 49ers last week and played hard. I think they hang around in this game much like the Broncos did with the Chiefs last week.

So there you have it. The last blog of the regular season. I’m not going to lie I didn’t think I’d end up making a post for every weekend, Monday, and Thursday, but here we are. Thank you to everyone (all seven of you) that read these blogs each week and played (or faded) my picks. It means a lot and hopefully you made some money along the way. This isn’t the end of the road though. I’ll be back next week with a play for all 6 Wild Card Weekend games so keep your eyes peeled. Thanks Again.

-Jake

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Week 17 Monday

Buffalo Bills (12-3) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (11-4)

The Spread: Bills (-2)

The last standalone Monday/Thursday game of the year figures to be the best one yet. Buffalo travels to Cincinnati for a game with massive playoff implications. I’ve gone over this pick in my head a bunch over the last week and I’m still having trouble figuring out which way I’m leaning. The Bengals have been absolute monsters ATS this season, but when is the right time to jump off the train with them? I think tonight might be the night for it. Buffalo is the best team they are going to play so far this year (yes, even better than KC) and I feel like the Bengals are trending towards a letdown after basically only playing two halves of football in their last two games (2nd half vs Bucs and 1st half vs Pats). They can’t afford to sleepwalk through 30 minutes of this game or they’ll find themselves in a hole they won’t be able to dig out of. If the Bills want the AFC to go through Orchard Park it starts with a win tonight in Cincinnati.

The Play: Bills -2

Total (50.5)

I mean with all the crap games we’ve dealt with in primetime this year wouldn’t it be great to end on an absolute shootout? Neither of these teams have necessarily been over teams this year, in fact, they’ve both only hit the over five times a piece. Still though I’m feeling like we’re going to get some points tonight. This has all them makings of a high scoring back and forth game. A little Week 17 appetizer for the playoffs. Give me the over.

The Play: Over 50.5

Final Prediction

Bills 31 Bengals 28

Sports

NFL Betting Guide: Week 17 Sunday

Two Sundays to go. Last week we we’re 4-1. Still chasing that 5-0 week though. Let’s get into it.

Favorite

Packers (-3) vs. Vikings

I know Green Bay is -3.5 on a lot of books, but I’m getting them at -3 on mine so that’s the line I’m going with. This is similar to the Lions-Vikings game a couple weeks ago. Why is a 7-8 team favored over a 12-3 team? The Vikings have found themselves as underdogs with a better record twice so far this year against Detroit and Dallas and they are 0-2 SU/ATS in those games. Keeping with that trend I’m going Packers here.

Charlie Murphy’s Habitual Line Stepper of the Week (Underdog)

Broncos (+12.5) vs. Chiefs

This could be dumb, but this line seems inflated to me. While the Broncos did get blown out on Christmas Day they did play the Chiefs to a 6 point game a couple weeks ago. In fact aside from the Christmas game the only other game where the Broncos wouldn’t have covered this spread was a 13 point loss to the Panthers. The Chiefs also aren’t covering spreads like they used to. They’re 5-9-1 ATS this season despite their 12-3 record mostly due to inflated lines like this. I think the Broncos can keep this just close enough to cover here.

Over

Rams vs. Chargers (42.5)

This seems oddly low for a total. The Rams offense seems to have found a bit of footing with Baker Mayfield at QB and, the Chargers offense having both Mike Williams and Keenan Allen back will help the scoring in this one. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to see both of these teams in the low-mid 20s. 24-21 gets this done with a couple points to spare. Sounds easy enough right?

Under

Browns vs. Commanders (40.5)

A struggling Deshaun Watson against a good defense? My old friend Carson Wentz getting the nod? This screams under to me. I think the Commanders win a low scoring, slow, run dominant game to keep their playoff hopes alive.

The Definitely Not My Lock of the Week Bonus Pick

Bears (+6) vs. Lions

Probably another dumb pick here, but I like the Bears to cover this spread. I rode the Lions right into the ground last week as their ATS streak came to an end at the hands of the Panthers. I don’t see how the Lions should be giving 6 points to anyone despite their recent success. The Bears have been able to hang around in a lot of games lately as well. This seems like one of those Bears games this year where they give up a late lead and lose by a score. Lions win Bears cover.