Week 17 is still here people and simply put, yesterday could have gone better. As always I stand by my picks but we would have been better served just waiting till Sunday as we went 0-3 for Saturday slate. Maybe it’s because I didn’t give a proper shoutout to everyone in attendance (sorry Benjamin!) but the Pats simply never showed up. Last week I was on the Patriots Over when I shoulda been on the spread and this week I was on the spread when I shoulda been on the Over. Next up was Broncos +3.5 and if you watched that game you know why that was such a bad beat. So many opportunities to win that bet only to have Tee Higgins steal all our money in the last minute of overtime. Then the nightcap was just an annoying bet as the Rams won in the end but of course we didn’t cover the -6.5. At least the interception Kyler Murray threw off of Trey McBride’s face was a pretty neat way to end the game. Some of you were smart enough to have the foresight to fade me but if you didn’t, don’t worry we got plenty of games to chase our losses with today so let’s get into it.  

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Cowboys @ Eagles (37.5)

This Sunday slate is giving us a bunch of low totals to choose from with 5 games with totals under 40. The thing is most of these games are gross and to be honest this one is no exception. A QB matchup between Cooper Rush and Kenny Pickett is not anything either of these teams wanted to see but here we are. On top of that CeeDee Lamb was also ruled out for the rest of the season which lowers the star power even more. However despite how ugly this game suddenly is, this total has dropped way too low for me to not jump. So hold your nose and take a dive with me.

Over 37.5 (-110)

Fade Dawgs

Panthers (+10) @ Buccaneers

Last time we rode with Carolina some degenerate had staked $3.1M on the Eagles ML so we had to fade. To my knowledge there aren’t any insane bets on Tampa but nevertheless this number is too big for me to ignore. I honestly had to double check that they weren’t dealing with some big injury because they’ve been playing too well for this to be over a touchdown. Chuba has been running like a man possessed and the Bryce Young resurrection has helped the Panthers cover 6 of their last 7 games. Sure Baker Mayfield is 4-0 in this rivalry but we don’t need Sir Purr and company to win, we just need them to cover.

Panthers +10 (-121)

The Tiersducken

I won’t lie, I really wanted to make this list all Jayden’s name because after that 5 touchdown performance against the Eagles he separated himself from the pack and locked up the Rookie of the Year award. Philly fans will cry Kenny Pickett but JD5 is the one who was able to shake off 6 team turnovers and lit up one of the best defenses in football to steal an unexpected victory. However as I’ve said before this isn’t a Washington blog so I have to give the others their due.

1. Jayden Daniels

2. Bo Nix

3. Drake Maye 

4. Michael Penix Jr

6. Caleb Williams 

6. Spencer Rattler

As you can see the tiers remain the same this week as no one did good enough or bad enough to move. I’ve already covered Jayden’s greatness but props to Bo for a solid albeit a losing performance against the Bengals yesterday. I won’t bash Drake Maye too much because he was banged up but I’m not gonna try to put lipstick on 40-7 pig of a loss. Penix looked solid enough in his debut but the Giants blow so I’m taking that with a grain of salt. Then I’m just lumping the last two losers together because that’s what Caleb Williams and Spencer Rattler deserve. As for the picks we only got 3 players left to play so maybe the Tiersducken has a chance! But who are we kidding, it’s a parlay right? So why not let my bias take the reins. So let’s say Jayden throws a pair of TDs and the other two throw a pick. 

Tiersducken Parlay: Jayden Daniels 2+ Passing TDs, Michael Penix Jr. Over .5 Interceptions, Spencer Rattler Over .5 Interceptions (+472)  

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Falcons @ Commanders (-3.5)

After that biased Tiersducken did you expect anything else for the Lock? Much like the previous times I’ve put Washington as my Lock, it’s me challenging them to take care of business. Win and we’re in the playoffs. It’s that simple. This is our last home game and this is Penix’s first road start. This is an opportunity we can’t squander. Sure part of me is spooked by failures past but that was before Jayden. Anything is possible with that kid under center so let’s get this win so we’re not sweating out Week 18.

Commanders -3.5 (-102)