Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Bick’s Picks begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with last week’s picks and now you’re gonna hear about it. The Over failed when the Jets did nothing, another NFC East dawg failed the blog and Courtland Sutton killed the Triducken before it had a chance. Now we did get some Jacoby Brissett magic and a career day from Scary Terry which briefly put the Lock in danger but the Rams came through giving us another disappointing 1-3 week. But let’s not stress last week’s losses. After all, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is picking winners for all to hear, so let’s get into it.

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Cowboys @ Dolphins (49)

Every slate of games in 2023 liked Unders a lot… But the Bick who wrote Bick’s Picks did not. The Bick Hated Unders! The whole Unders season. Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his logic just wasn’t right. It could be, perhaps, his hats were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been his balls weren’t two sizes too small. Whatever the reason, his balls or his hat. You won’t catch us betting an Under you can count on that. Staring down on this slate with a big Christmas grin. The Bick knew just the game that would get us a win. The Bick liked the Boys and the Fins to get touchdowns galore. Sure these 10-4 teams are frauds, but they know how to score. Both teams average over 30 a game. If this Over doesn’t hit that sure would be lame.

Over 49

Fade Dawgs

Patriots(+7.5) @ Broncos

Once I knew it had been snowing in Denver this game was gonna make the list. Now maybe it won’t end up being an actual snow game but either way I’m expecting a low scoring affair. Now normally here at Bick’s Picks we’ve had success betting against the Patriots but it’s Christmas after all and who says we can’t have a Mile High Miracle. Now I don’t necessarily think we need a miracle we just need some 1st half Zappe magic and a heavy dose of Zeke to keep this game close. Also for all of the Patriots flaws this season their elite run defense should help make the Broncos one dimensional. That alone could be capable of getting Russ and Payton arguing like an old married couple. End of the day I feel like 7.5 is just too many points and Pats fans riding the tank could be disappointed.

Patriots (+7.5)

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

Jaguars @ Buccaneers (+1)

Simply put this is a bet against the Jags as much as it is a pick for the Bucs if not more so. The spiraling Jaguars have lost 3 straight going from AFC contender to a 3 way tie in the AFC South. They’ve been constantly dealing with injuries with Lawrence narrowly passing concussion protocol. Even when Trevor has been on the field there has been no one sloppier with the football than this guy. Legit just dropping balls while running like he’s actually got hooves for hands. Meanwhile during this time their defense has been carved up in recent weeks by elite qbs like homeless Joe Flacco and Jake Browning. On the flip-side the Bucs and comeback player of the year candidate Baker Mayfield have won 3 straight and are now 1st in the NFC South rock fight. Sure this could be the get right game for the Jags and the let down for the Bucs but honestly this looks like two teams headed in different directions and I think those trends continue. Sure you can take the +1 but I might just take Tampa straight up.

Buccaneers (+1)

Touchdown Triduckens

Xmas Eve TD Parlay: Raheem Mostert, Justin Fields, Ezekiel Elliott

Xmas TD Parlay: Rashee Rice, Jalen Hurts, Christian McCaffery

Tis the season of giving so I figured why not deliver the people a double order of Triduckens. Last week I made the mistake of having the parlay be on two day but not this week. Our first Triducken will be for the Christmas Eve slate of games and we’ll rely on rushing TD machine Raheem Mostert. Next since I’ll be enjoying some Buckeye candies on Christmas Eve midas whale look to one of Jake’s Takes favorite Buckeyes Justin Fields to find the end zone against the Cardinals. Lastly for the night game I’m counting on another Buckeye and Zeke heavy game plan finding pay dirt. As for our Christmas Triducken we’ll start things off with Mahomes’ new favorite wideout Rashee Rice, followed by a little Tush Push and finish things off with our obligatory CMC score. We’re due for a Triducken win so here’s hoping these birds aren’t stolen by Bumpuses dogs.

Xmas Eve Triducken: Raheem Mostert, Justin Fields, Ezekiel Elliott (+895)

Xmas Triducken: Rashee Rice, Jalen Hurts, Christian McCaffery (+416)

The Rashard Mendenhall Better Than Ur GOAT Bowl

Ravens (+6) @ 49ers

For those of you who don’t know, retired Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall gifted the social media platform formerly known as Twitter with the controversial idea of an All-Black vs. All-White Pro Bowl. The internet certainly had their fun embracing this debate but outside of Madden simulations this marquee Christmas Night matchup between the Ravens v Niners is likely the closest we’ll get. Cancel-worthy jokes aside this really is the matchup of the week and very likely could be a Super Bowl preview. Both these 11-3 teams are the #1 seeds in their respective conferences and are led by MVP candidate QBs. Not to mention CMC who’s making a very real case to be the first running back since Adrian Peterson in 2008 to win the MVP. Now as much as I’ve counted on CMC to win us money this season, this time I’m counting LJ8. Simply put the reason is because of the success he’s had against the NFC. Lamar is 19-1 as a starter against the NFC and those are numbers I can’t ignore. Let’s hope those numbers don’t lie and Santa delivers this dawg heavy blog one more win.

Ravens (+6)