My goal was 3-0 last week and I failed you. Dogging It is dead and my lock took its first L. However, unlike Bradley Cooper my silver lining was that the Eagles took the L. But hey it’s a new week with a new slate of games so let’s make some money huh?

Life’s Too Short to Bet the Under

Commanders @ Giants (37.5)

Lots of low totals this week, but rightfully so, I mean we got Brian Hoyer starting football games in 2023. Although I don’t expect a lot of scoring this Sunday, a couple games are bound to surprise us and I think this matchup is one of them. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t some bias involved in this pick, but remember who’s picks you’re reading. Now, I wish I could tell you I was expecting Washington to come in and score 35 of the total needed and cruise to a victory for all of us, but let’s be real. The reason I like this game is because despite how many 1st round picks Washington has on defense they still can’t stop a nosebleed. I mean Daboll has been using a Daniel Jones smokescreen to intimidate us because Jones turns Vanilla Vick against us (5-1-1 vs Washington). That said I don’t expect him to actually play but Jake’s guy T-Mobile is more than capable of getting it done. On the flip side I do expect Slinging Sammy 2.0 to put up enough points to get this over easy and heck maybe even a win.

Piss Dawgs

Lions (+3) @ Ravens

It’s been rough season for dogs overall, but especially here at Bick’s Picks. Much like Mark “Stink” Schlereth, most of my dogs have been pissing their pants in the second half of games so I figured why not name the segment after him. And since we’re pissing our pants midas whale bite some knee caps. I’ve been resistant to buy in on the Lions, but this is the week I finally do. Lions look like a complete football team that wins games in the trenches while being capable of scoring points the points needed to put teams away. Meanwhile the Ravens run first offense has to contend with the best run defense so far in football. Lions win outright but take the points if you don’t have the courage.

Bick’s Stone Cold Lock of the Century of the Week

49ers(-6.5) @ Vikings (MNF)

As mentioned earlier those ass shoving brotherly lovers choked against the Jets so the Lock is looking for a bounce back. So why not look to a team also looking to bounce back. Niners lost a tough one to the Browns having easily their worst offensive performance of the season. But that loss was a product of bad weather, a stout Cleveland D and some key injuries to Deebo and CMC. Fortunately it seems both playmakers avoided disaster and with extra rest will play on Monday night. This is bad news for a middling Vikings defense that lives and dies by the blitz. The Niners have also won 12 in row vs the NFC as the favorite and the Vikings have failed to cover as dogs in 8 straight vs. the NFC. But I’ve buried the lede and the obvious reason this is my lock is primetime Kirk. Very few wilt under the bright lights quite like my old QB and that’s not to mention he doesn’t have his all world security blanket Justin Jefferson. The Vikings squeaked out a win against the Bears last week but the offense looked anemic in the process. Even if the Niners sputter out the gate I don’t see how the Vikings consistently move the ball so a Brocktober bounce back seems like easy money. Also if you wanna get real spicy parlay the spread with a CMC any time TD he’s going for 16 games in a row.